I feel like I’ve been writing on here a lot, but I guess I just have a lot of things on my mind that I don’t normally talk about with people. And things are frustrating me.
Like right now. I’ve noticed in the past few months that my memory has gotten a heck of a lot worse. I’m going to attribute it to my fibromyalgia. One of the symptoms you can get is “fibrofog,” where you forget things easily and just generally feel like you’re in a mental fog. I’ve got it bad. I constantly go to get things and forget why I walked into a room. I’m always leaving my phone places and forgetting where. I go to say something and immediately forget what it was. Today, my roommate and came back to the apartment with Chipotle and ice cream (Happy Singles Awareness Day!) and I went to put the ice cream away…and left my car keys in the fridge. Spent forever looking for them. I’m always leaving my cup in the fridge after I put ice in it, too.
I dunno. It’s really starting to bother me — I’m starting to feel like it’s not normal at all. I’m only 21 — I shouldn’t be forgetting things constantly and forgetting words and losing my phone. I’ve never been this forgetful. Just this evening, I was getting ready to leave to drive home for the weekend. I thought I had an appointment with my PCP in the morning, before I had PT in the afternoon. I was just about to leave, I checked my calendar just to be sure of the time of the first appointment…and discovered that it’s next week, not this week. I have no idea why I had it in my brain that it was tomorrow (I tend to do this a lot, too. Also, side note — my doctor is really pissing me off. She’s messed up my prescription three times now, and she always schedules me for three months…but pushes the appointment back instead of forward a week when I can’t make the exact date work. So I always run out of Lyrica and have withdrawal symptoms. I’ve brought it up to her, and she always says she’ll make sure not to do it next time, but she never fixes it. It’s awful and infuriating and I’m considering switching doctors. ARG.).
I’ll probably bring all this up at this next doctor appointment (that’s NEXT week!) and see what she says. I feel like she thinks I’m just making things up and trying to get attention. That’s the problem with having a doctor who doesn’t specialize in fibromyalgia. They just don’t know what they’re doing. I’m probably going to look into going to a different doctor so that I can get the real care that I need, but for now I’m stuck with her. Ah, the joys of living with fibro.